Tuesday, May 17, 2016

The Unseen Scarlett Letter

There is a part of my transformation that I have never shared before…

No, it is not a physical transformation, but a mental & spiritual transformation that has taken quite a few years to overcome. 

As many of you know, I have 3 beautiful children. They are my life! And I also married my high school sweetheart…

But our marriage & our family didn’t really start the way “I” had planned it. (I am currently taking a deep breathe as I type this out as this is still difficult for me to be open & transparent about this area of my life)…

The picture on the left is me on my wedding day 12 WEEKS pregnant & the picture on the right is me now with our son who is the BIGGEST most beautiful blessing in the entire world to us. 

It was 10 years ago in May that we found out I was pregnant with our first child. I was 21 years-old & NOT married. I still remember sitting on the bathroom floor crying with my now husband telling my him this cannot be real. I instantly felt fear, quilt, shame, & embarrassment.

More than anything I was afraid. 

I had my life perfectly planned out but at the moment in my life I felt like I had failed God, my parents, & myself. My life was turned upside down from that day forward. 

I was embarrassed to tell our family & friends...
I was worried we would be judged at our local church…
I was afraid of what other people thought of me…
I was in fear that people would find out the “truth” on why we got married so fast...
I was simply afraid of the unknown…

I was consumed with shame & guilt. 

I can honestly say it wasn’t until I began counseling for my postpartum anxiety that I began to have true healing in this area of my life. 

For years I walked around with an “unseen” Scarlett Letter. But I had placed that letter upon myself, no one else did. 

I now know that on the day that I found out I was pregnant…God had forgiven us…And that God had perfectly & wonderfully created our baby boy…

I am so happy to say I am FREE from that shame & guilt...

Even though we steered of track with the decisions we had made, GOD used it ALL for GOOD!!!

He was writing HIS story through me. 

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose Romans 8:28. 

I am sharing all of this with you because I know that this chapter of my life can help someone. You are NOT meant to live in bondage to fear, shame, & guilt. God wants you to live a life of freedom, joy, & peace. 

You were meant for MORE than that!

I felt like I was the only women with battles…with fears of rejection…with feelings of shame & guilt but I am not alone. So many women have the same struggles. And that is exactly why I created Imperfectly Balanced. To have a sisterhood, a community of women who broke the barriers of judgment & loved one another flaws & ALL! 

I want to encourage you today to take OFF your "Scarlett Letter” because you are forgiven. Your past is apart of your story & you now have an opportunity to grow from it & help others. 

You were never meant to live life alone, so if you want to be apart of our Imperfectly Balanced sisterhood, community of women comment below or private message me HERE

I know that you can live a life of health, hope, freedom, peace, & joy….because I do now:) 

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1 comment:

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